Keeping His Way: A Letter to Loved Ones Explaining Our Sudden Decision to Leave California

Dear Friends and Family,

Just a disclaimer, much of our decision to move is based on our faith in God and what He’s being working in our hearts. My intention in writing this is not to be preachy but to simply explain how we came to our decision.

I’m assuming not many people understand why we are choosing to leave California when it appears we have everything we need here. Don’t worry, I will not make this political. All of our friends and family are here. Our children live near both sets of grandparents and can spend time with them on a regular basis (a privilege I didn’t have as a child). What is more, we recently moved into a house we thought would be our forever home. So why would we ever leave?

Let me explain. We’ve decided to live on a single income for quite some time. My husband works as an RN to provide for the family while I stay home with the kids. We saw the importance of at least one parent staying home with the children and homeschooling.

My husband has been working nights for nearly 10 years and the rising cost of living in California was beginning to wear down on him. His rhythmic sleep schedule from nights to days and days to night also made difficult it to attend church as a family regularly, and we have been without a church home for a few years. I knew for the sake of his health, physically and spiritually, he would have to change his career and soon.

We had two choices: I either go back to the workforce and work full time and put the kids in public school, or we move out of state where Michael can find a day job and where the cost of living is lower.

Staying in California

If we choose to stay, I have to work full time. It was the only way to make ends meet. I feel many family households in California are becoming double-income. Our children will be put in public schools in which they will be exposed to teachings I do not agree with. Josh will have to go to daycare, and Addie and Lily will go to an after-school care center until one of us picks them up. I know many families live this way, and it works. I’m happy for them. However, I have experienced this before when I worked full time as a medical assistant. Addie was hardly 3 years old when we put her in daycare Monday through Friday from 8am to 4pm. I would come home, make dinner, and go to bed exhausted. Weekends went by quickly as I had to spend most of it catching up on housework. I hardly got to spend time with my family. Moreover, I didn’t know what Addie was doing most of the time. I didn’t know who was teaching her or what they were teaching her. Strangers were raising my daughter, and it should be me.

I’ve also seen kids in the after-school care system since I worked for a center in the school district for some time. Some children as young as 5 years old were dropped off as early as 7 am at the student care center. The staff gave them breakfast, helped them with any unfinished homework, and then sent them to their classrooms when the bell rang. After school, they were crammed in a small portable facility with almost 200 other kids. There, some would stay for 3 more hours until they were picked up at 6 pm. This was a long time for kindergartners so nap time was budgeted into their schedule should they need it.

So this was what our life would look like. We would get to keep our big house. We would always be near family. We would have financial security. But I know our home life would suffer. I’ve heard some moms can work and balance a home life well. That’s great. However, for me, I know my limits. I tried it, and I couldn’t do both – work full time and have a successful homeschool life for my kids.

Moving to Tennessee

The home life I have now is priceless. Every morning I rise early and prepare for homeschool for the day. At breakfast, we can sit together and read the Bible while we eat. We’ve had the most interesting conversations during this time, and the girls are constantly asking questions. It brings me great joy that the topics of God, Jesus, and the Bible is a big part of our daily family discussions. We start the school day with a brief Bible lesson which has been foundational to their faith. Addie can recite Psalm 23 from memory. Lily would often recites 1 Peter 3:3-5. She’ll say, “Braiding your hair and wearing fine clothes and jewelry does not make you beautiful. Instead your beauty should come from inside you. It is the beauty of a gently and quite spirit.”

Hearing them recite God’s word from the heart is confirmation to me that we’re doing something right. Too many young girls grow up with insecurities about themselves, and too many young adults are falling away from their faith. My children will have the foundation of faith they’ll need for the future. That, to me, is priceless. So I know I have to keep what we have. I have to guard our home life.

We visited Tennessee about 4 months ago. Michael had lived there during his childhood and had great memories. We discovered that we were not the only ones being priced out of California, and many more Californians are choosing to move to Tennessee for the same reasons we were. We visited a church during our stay, and it turned out to be the nicest church we’ve been to! There were many parents there our age, and Michael immediately connected with a few men on the worship team. It reminded me of a time when Michael was thriving in a music ministry of his own and how on fire he was for God. Is it possible that God wants us here?

Michael and I talked over the matter extensively. We went back and forth on our decision many times over whether we should stay or go. I wrestled in prayer many days regarding the matter. We had to make the hardest decision of our lives and soon.

Should I work or should I stay home?

This is a question every woman asks herself once she becomes a mother. Everyone’s calling is different. I again I’m writing this not be preachy but to explain how I came to my decision.

Some Bible verses that stood out to me were Psalm 37:34 “Wait for the Lord and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land,” and “Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him too.”

It became clear that to walk in obedience to God meant to keep His way. How do we keep His way? By continuing to do what He has called me to do. In this season of our lives, it’s important for me to stay home with the kids. This could only mean one thing: we had to move and leave all that we know and love behind.

Another Bible verse confirmed God’s leading. Genesis 12:1 says,

"The Lord had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.'"

Answered Prayer

In many ways, God has been affirming to us which path to take. Since our visit to Tennessee, we decided that it was best for our family to move out there. Originally, we planned to move in 2 years, but God is full of surprises!

Michael had been applying to jobs in Tennessee but heard nothing back. One morning I knelt down to pray for a moving date. I just need a date, Lord! Please give me a date so I can plan accordingly!

That same morning, Michael came from a night shift tired. He had received an email from a coordinator of an OR program at University of Tennessee Medical Center to give him a call. Tired as he was, he made the call, knowing that their phone conversation can easily turn into an impromptu job interview.

The next day, he received a job offer with the start date of July 19th, and that was that. God gave him the grace he needed to do well on that impromptu interview. And He had given me a moving date (well, thankfully I had been packing slowly bit by bit that we wouldn’t be too far behind!).

As I write this, it is our last day in California. Thank you to all family who have helped us tremendously during this time. This sudden decision to move would not be possible without all the love and support you have showered us with! You have filled our hearts so full that it is so heavy to move! We look forward to visiting you all again soon!

Much love,

Jaymee Burnett