If I give You the pen of my life, You’ll write a tale that all heaven can cheer.
Eric and Leslie Ludy
The Author of Romance
Have you been dreaming about your wedding day since you were little? Have you been dreaming about that perfect person and what he could possibly look like and how you will finally fall in love? I know I did. According to the Barna Research Group, the number one desire of young adults during a certain time period was not fame nor wealth, but to be married to one person for a lifetime. Unfortunately, based on their survey, not many of them believed that this was possible.1 The desire for love is etched within our souls. Yet we look at our world around us today, and we’re convinced that having a beautiful love story seems more like a fairytale than it is a reality.
But we have very good news to share.
God is the Author of Romance. He has a far better plan for us in this area of our lives than we can imagine for ourselves if we are willing to trust Him. Elisabeth Elliot once wrote about an international student, who I will call James, in the U.S. in her book Quest for Love. During the time of his studies, he felt extreme loneliness. He longed to be married and have a companion by his side. As he took his desires before the Lord, God impressed upon his heart the story of Isaac and Rebekah and how he too should wait for his future bride.
But his longing grew intense, and he was becoming impatient. He questioned God’s promise, and he questioned if he should be waiting at all. His faith would ultimately be put to the test. Should he take the pen to his love story from the hands of God and write his own story?2
A Love Story in the Bible
In the story of Isaac and Rebekah from the Bible, we see God as the Writer of their love story in Genesis 24. Abraham and his servant Eliezer both played an important role in their relationship, but it was God who ultimately arranged their marriage and brought the two together in a beautiful way.
Rebekah’s love story with Isaac would not have occurred if it were not for her radical surrender to the will of God for her life. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He is still the Author of Romance. And He desires to script a love story for you more beautiful than you can imagine. But it requires you to have the same trust and surrender to Him as Rebekah did.
Now, I want you to imagine that you and I are meeting together in my cozy living room for a focused Bible study time. Along the way, you’ll share with me your story, and I’ll share mine. There are so many priceless truths to be discovered in this story that can leave us refreshed and inspired. So pull up a chair next to me, grab your Bible, and let’s dive into His Word together!
Rebekah’s love story with Isaac would not have occurred if it were not for her radical surrender to the will of God for her life.
5 Important Points We Can Learn from Rebekah’s Story
We can glean 5 key points that made Rebekah’s divinely arranged marriage successful. They are as follows:
- Abraham played an active role in his son Isaac’s marriage.
- Isaac trusted in God and in his father’s counsel to find the right woman in the right time.
- Rebekah surrendered her life and trusted God’s plan.
- Rebekah was not a perfect wife.
- Isaac remained faithful.
Because going over this list in its entirety will make an extensively long blog post, we will turn this post into a 3-part series. In this blog, we’ll cover the first two points for the sake of readability.
1. Abraham played an active role in his son Isaac’s marriage.
Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge over all that Abraham owned, "Please, put your hand under my thigh, and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of Canaanites, among whom I live, but you will go to my country and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac." (Genesis 24:2-4)
It was important for Abraham that Isaac find a wife from among his relatives. God had set Abraham and his descendants apart, and He intended for them to become a holy nation for His Kingdom purposes. Intermarrying with other nations could lead God’s people astray. It has always been against God’s command for the Israelites to marry outside of their race.3 So in obedience to God’s command, Abraham participated in the arrangement of his son’s marriage and sent his servant to find Isaac a suitable wife.
Do Not Be Unequally Bound Together
This command in the Old Testament serves as an imagery for us to understand the importance of marrying someone who shares the same faith and passion as we do. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (AMP).
When we marry an unbeliever, we compromise our faith and risk being led astray and likely our children after us. This is why it may be a good idea to invite our parents to play an active role when in comes to our love stories. They can pinpoint certain issues that we may be blind to when it comes to potential future prospects. It may seem old fashion to some, but seeking the counsel and guidance of our parents in choosing the right spouse may be one of the best decisions we ever make in our lives.
If your parents are not walking in faith with the Lord, then recruiting the help of a godly mentor or the pastor of your church can also give you much needed guidance and wisdom.
2. Isaac trusted in God and in his father’s counsel to find the right woman in the right time.
The servant told Isaac everything that he had done. Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her; therefore, Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. (Genesis 24:66-67) ...Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the Arabian of Paddan-aram, the sister of Laban the Arabian. (Genesis 25:20)
Isaac was 40 years old at the time and was more than capable of traveling on his own to his father’s country to find a wife of his choice. But he respected and trusted in his father’s decision in sending his servant Eliezer on the sacred mission to find him the right wife. Abraham was confident that God would send his angel ahead to guide Eliezer (Genesis 24:7), and so was Isaac.
Moreover, Isaac waited for 40 years for his bride. Rebekah’s arrival was perfectly timed so Isaac could be comforted after his mother’s death. As we read Rebekah’s story, we learn that she was so worth the wait. She was very beautiful and a virgin; she also displayed extraordinary kindness which distinguished her as the perfect woman Eliezer was looking for (Genesis 24:16-20). To read more about Rebekah’s character, you can read it on my blog here.
Isaac respected and trusted in his father’s decision in finding him a wife.
God Knows Exactly Who the Right Person is for You
God knows us best, and we can trust Him to bring the right person to us in the right time. He is our Matchmaker. Some of us might fear that if we completely let go and trust God in choosing the right spouse for us, we’ll end up with someone who is completely unattractive and someone we don’t even like. But that is very unlikely the case. Our Father in heaven knows how to give good gifts to those who ask Him (Matthew 7:11)! Can you imagine the look on Isaac’s face when he first saw his bride? Scripture says “he took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her…” That is love at first sight!
Eric Ludy, co-author of When God Writes Your Love Story, wrote of the following scenario: if God brought 10 women before him and told him to pick one to be his wife, he would fall flat and declare, “God You know me better than I know myself. You pick!”4
“He can search my girl among the nations, among billions of girls and He knows which one is best for me.”
God’s Timing is Perfect
Finally, waiting for God’s perfect timing is vital in a God-written love story. I know waiting can be very difficult for many. Loneliness is a very real struggle. We can earnestly pray that He will not make us wait until we’re 40 until we finally get married (I know I wouldn’t want to wait that long!), but we have to be willing to wait and not rush ahead of God’s timing. If we yield to our impatience and decide to take matters into our own hands, then we are no longer allowing Him to write our love stories. We could end up marrying someone outside of His will, and we can end up with a broken heart.
Living with Singleness
I had once sat in a high school youth group gathering when a panel of Christian college students visited to give advice on dating and relationships. When someone in the audience asked what she should do while she was single, one of the brazen young college students admonished, “Girl, have fun and live your life! Go out with your girl friends. Life is too short!”
Looking back to that comment now, I realize that it doesn’t solve the problem when loneliness creeps back in. Going out and having fun with friends is not wrong, but it only distracts and postpones our struggles with singleness. Moreover, it encourages us to live for ourselves instead of living poured out lives for Christ.
1 Corinthians 7:34 says:
The unmarried woman or the virgin is concerned about the matters of the Lord, how to be holy and set apart both in body and spirit...
This is how our singleness should be spent. Believe it or not, singleness is a gift. This is the one time in our lives when we can give undivided devotion to God. If you are walking in this season in your life, then use this time you have to go deeper in your relationship with Jesus. Take away distractions at all costs that may be hindering you from seeking Him. Once you do, you’ll hear that He beckons you, and His Kingdom awaits you.
In high school, when everyone seemed to be caught up in the dating scene except for me, I got the chance to know the Savior of my soul like I never had before. I got to experience an exciting spiritual adventure of a lifetime that so many girls my age missed out on! Suddenly, it didn’t matter if I was the only one single. I was in love with my Lord Jesus!
James’ Story
James believed that God gave him a promise: that He will will bring him his future wife at the right time. He wrote that the real battle came when his faith was greatly tested during the period of waiting. Impatience and anxiety would overtake him. The enemy of his soul, he admitted, did everything to make him stop believing in God’s promise. And he almost gave in. But by God’s grace and mercy, the prompting of the Holy Spirit warned him that he would “miss the blessings He ordained for [him] if [he] could not wait for His promise.”2 So James gladly surrendered his desire back to God.
Sometime later, a phone call to his mother in his home country led to a conversation regarding a certain young woman who was around his age. Through parental coordination, James was able to begin a correspondence with this girl. In time, they both believed it was God’s will for them to marry. She was in Brazil at the time. And in the winter of 1990, he traveled to Brazil to meet his bride-to-be whom he’d never met. When he first laid his eyes on her, he said: “Indeed she is a lovely and godly girl that I’ve been looking for.”2
He later wrote:
Isn’t God amazing. He can search my girl among the nations, among billions of girls and He knows which one is best for me.2
My Story
Being a PK (pastor’s kid) meant I had to abide by stricter rules. My parents thought it was necessary to uphold a cold and heartless restriction (or so I thought at the time) on romantic relationships: no dating until 18 years of age. Regardless, I had adopted the culture’s worldview on dating, and I looked forward to the day of my 18th birthday when I can finally debut into the dating scene. But of course there was that purity concept you learned at church, and I signed an abstinence pledge promising to save sex for marriage.
I had caught the attention of another junior in high school before I had turned 18. I made sure he was fully aware that I wasn’t yet allowed to date. Nevertheless, he remained persistent and called me everyday. He tried to meet up with me often after school in the library to study math. Although I did develop feelings for him, I never reciprocated them to the extent of his.
One day, I came across Eric and Leslie Ludy’s book about giving God the pen to your future love story.3 This was how I came to know God as the Author of Romance, and that He was much more interested in this area of my life than I was. That was when I prayed for the first time that the first person I date will be my future husband. I ended all ties with the other person, and that was that. Little did I know, I still had much to learn in the matters of purity and surrendering everything to Jesus.
My senior year came. I walked into my Spanish class, and we were seated in alphabetical order by our last names. Our Maestra told us to pair up with the person sitting behind us to work on class assignments. I whipped around to meet my partner. He was blond with eye-catching blue eyes. He had a well-defined jawline that framed his humble smile. He wore our school’s iconic hooded sweater bearing the bulldog mascot, the uniform of an athlete.
“Hi, I’m Jaymee,” I say.
I hear his voice for the first time, “I’m Michael.”
To be continued…
Read the next blog on Rebekah and Isaac here.
NOTES
1 Ludy, Eric. “The Pen.” Set Apart Girl. https://www.setapart.online/products/online-mentoring-program/categories/3402474/posts/11361479. Accessed 23 May, 2022.
2 Elliot, Elisabeth. Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity. Baker Book House Company. Grand Rapids, 1996. pages 204-206.
3 Deuteronomy 7:3-4, 6; Joshua 23:12-13; Ezra 9:1-2, 12; Nehemiah 13:25-26; 2 Corinthians 6:14
4 Ludy, Eric and Leslie. When God Writes Your Love Story. Multnomah Books. Colorado Springs, 2009.
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