Amazing Facts About Rebekah Part 4: No Other Lovers

Love through me, Love of God,

There is no love in me;

O Fire of love, light Thou the love

That burns perpetually.

Amy Carmichael

“Anna” had signed an abstinent contract when she was in middle school. The contract declared her commitment to saving sex for marriage. That was the extent on purity she ever learned in her younger years – a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Other than that, everything else was fair game. She dreamed of the day when she could finally start dating and be with someone she could affectionately call her boyfriend.

When she reached high school, she went through a change of heart and found Christ. That was when she began to sense God telling her to trust Him with her love story and to wait faithfully for her future spouse. And so she waited.

She was eager to give her gift of purity to the man who would one day be her husband. But would he have waited for her too? One night, her future husband came to her mind. She felt God impress upon her heart that if he had made mistakes in this area of his life, she should readily extend forgiveness. Anna felt confident that she would. Couldn’t she?

Rebekah’s Love Story

As we continue with our study with Rebekah from the Bible, I wonder what must have raced through the young maiden’s mind when Eliezer, Abraham’s servant, first unexpectedly extended the marriage proposal to his master’s son, a complete stranger? In Genesis 24, Rebekah was engaged over night and was brought to a country 900 miles away to marry Isaac.¹ He had been waiting for her for 40 years. It takes a heightened level of faith, strength, and maturity to leave a world of family and friends behind in a day’s notice. God must have prepared her for such a time as this. She had passed the character test of kindly watering all of Eliezer’s 10 camels – an hour’s worth of hard work (Genesis 24:20).¹

She was made ready for marriage.

Today, it is rare to witness a God-written love story. Many of us haven’t even heard that it is possible. But through the pages of history, there are a few in each generation that dare to trust God with their love stories. Rebekah was such, and she trusted in God’s plan for her life. Did she feel she made a mistake when she first met Isaac her husband? Far from the truth. Romans 10:11 says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed” (AMP).

She met her match.

God scripted a beautiful love story for Rebekah. During a time when polygamy was common, she married a man of faith who loved her and no other. Their story opposed the ways of the common practices of their day. The challenge is this: are we also willing to oppose the common practices of our time and choose a narrower way? Are we willing to trust God with our love stories and have no other lovers other than our future spouse before and after we are married?

5 Key Points We Can Learn from Rebekah’s Story

On this series of the study of Rebekah’s story, there are 5 key points that made her marriage successful.

1. Abraham played an active role in his son Isaac’s marriage.
2. Isaac trusted in God and in his father’s counsel to find the right woman at the right time.
3. Rebekah surrendered her life and trusted in God’s plan.
4. Rebekah was not a perfect wife.
5. Isaac remained faithful.

In this final blog, we will discuss how in spite of Rebekah’s barrenness, Isaac did not seek other lovers in his marriage. Read my previous blog on Rebekah’s surrender here.

5. Isaac Remained Faithful

Now these are the records of the descendants of Isaac, Abraham's son: Abraham was the father of Isaac. Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the Arabian (Syrian) of Paddan-aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean. 

Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she was unable to conceive a child; and the Lord granted his prayer and Rebekah his wife conceived [twins]...

Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them. (Genesis 25:19-21, 26)

Polygamy

It is intriguing to note that Isaac made a pivotal decision to intercede for his barren wife Rebekah that she may conceive instead of seeking a second wife. There are patterns in the Bible that when barrenness is present in a marriage, the couple often resort to polygamy. The husband takes on a second wife that she may bear children for him. This was the case with Abraham and Sarah (who were formerly known as Abram and Sarai in Genesis 16:3-4). This was also the the same situation for Rachel, the wife of Jacob (Genesis 30:1-3). And this was likely the case for Hannah who was the barren one out of the two wives of Elkanah (1 Samuel 1:1-6).

Interestingly, out of the three Patriarchs of God’s people (Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob), Isaac is the only one recorded to have one wife, Rebekah. This tells us a lot about the character of Isaac.

No Other Lovers

According to Genesis 25:19-26, Rebekah was barren for the first 20 years of their marriage. God promised to turn Abraham into a great nation. It was vital that the wives in this family line be fertile and bear children. But Isaac didn’t question whether Eliezer, Abraham’s servant, got the right woman or not to be his wife. Nor did he turn to the love of another woman in order to have children. Isaac was a man of faith. He interceded for Rebekah in prayer, and God granted His request.

If only Rebekah knew how fortunate she was to be protected from such turmoil. Sarah, Rachel, and Hannah endured much pain and conflict in dealing with rival wives in their marriages. Rebekah, however, shared her husband’s affections with no other. Isaac’s noble decision to turn to God instead of turning to a human solution spared his wife from a lifetime of pain and rivalry.

How amazing. Rebekah trusted God with her marriage, and He did not disappoint her.

Are There Other Lovers in Your Marriage?

The Gift of Purity

Before we begin to reflect on our marriages, I want to take a step back and review our purity as a “gift” in contrast to an “abstinent commitment”. We live in a culture where nothing in our sexuality is considered sacred anymore. Young women are praised the more sensual they are. Today, it’s disturbing to know that children are expected and even encouraged (by educators) to experiment with their sexuality at a young age.

But Christians are called to live on a different plane of standards when it comes to sexual purity. It’s not that we’re bound to a set of restrictive rules that strip us of joy, but rather we understand that our purity came at a high price: the precious blood of Christ. Our hearts and our bodies are now made sacred and meant to be used for the glory of our King (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). So it’s not just an abstinent commitment. We gladly uphold purity in the highest regard as a gift for our Lord and for the one person who will one day become our future spouse.

Dare to Love Your Future Spouse Now

I’ve noticed in today’s culture, even in the Christian culture, that we tend to treat purity with a self-centered approach. We seek to fulfill our need for love through romantic relationships without much thought of the repercussions that our actions will have on our future spouse, and even more, our God in heaven.

Anna’s Story

The person I know as Anna had faithfully waited for her future spouse. She knew that the man she will be with will likely have been in previous romantic relationships, and “John” was no exception. But when she began to learn more about the intimate things John shared with another girl in a previous relationship, it grieved her heart more deeply than she imagined it would, inflicting upon her pain, jealousy, and bitterness. It’s not that she was being irrational, but she was grieving as any of us would when something so precious is lost, his gift of purity.

John was repentant and fully remorseful over his past relationship. He purged his life of every memory – pictures, gifts, and contact – of his past relationship to show Anna the extent of his earnestness to love her faithfully from this moment forward. And Anna, by the grace of God², was able to forgive. John was now redeemed from his past sins and has been made into a new creation in Christ, the “old has passed away, and the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). His purity has been restored by Jesus’s costly sacrifice on the cross.

I understand now that if this is how much Anna grieved over the sin of one person, how much more do we grieve the heart of our Father in Heaven? In Genesis 6:6, we read that God was so grieved by the wickedness of men, and “His heart was filled with pain.” Psalm 78:40 records how God’s people “often rebelled against Him in the desert and grieved Him in the wasteland.”

A God-centered Approach to Purity

That’s sobering to know that our God in heaven feels pain over our sins. So instead we embrace purity with a God-centered approach. Instead of asking the question “how far is too far?” We ask a different question:

“How far can I honor God in this area of my life?”

“How far can I honor my future spouse in this are of my life?”

We abstain from sin and walk in purity by the grace of God² out of a deep desire to please our God and not grieve Him. And we treat our future spouse in the same manner. Just as Isaac trusted God and waited for Rebekah for 40 years, we also wait faithfully for him or her no matter how long it takes. Proverbs 31:12 says the virtuous woman brings her husband “good, not harm, all the days of her life.” All the days include our single years, and how we should be mindful of how our current actions now will one day affect our future husbands.³ This means we lay down our dating life at the feet of Jesus and trust Him with our love stories.

God is the great Playwright. Become the willing and noble protagonist in the great Act in yours and your suture spouse’s romantic play. Choose to love your future spouse now even before you know their name. For more inspiration in loving your future spouse now, I recommend reading When God Writes Your Love Story and When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy.

Sharing Your Love with No Other

For those of us who are already married, Proverbs 31:12 continues to apply. How can we bring our husband good and not harm all the days of our lives? In Titus 2:4, the first thing a young woman ought to be trained in is how to love her husband, stating, “[The older women] can train the younger women to love their husbands…”

Are there other people or other things that claim higher affections from your heart than your husband? Do you have close friendships with the opposite sex that might arouse jealousy in him? Even friendship with a female best friend could be taking much time away from your spouse. Are there hobbies, careers, and even ministries in your life that you are prioritizing over the needs of your marriage? Evaluate these things in prayer, and follow the lead of the Holy Spirit in the next course of action.

If your husband is not walking with the Lord, and you feel your love begins to wane, remember who your First Love is. Jesus is the Only who can fulfill your needs when human love falls short. When we our fulfilled in Christ, we are then free to love and serve our husbands. We can turn to the Lord in prayer earnestly and intercede on our husband’s behalf that Christ will live in him, similarly how Isaac interceded for Rebekah.

When we love our husbands with an unfailing love, we adorn the Gospel of Christ. Author and speaker Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth writes:

[Marriage is] about adorning the doctrine of Christ by giving the world a picture of love that never fails.⁴

Final Thoughts

As we conclude our study on the amazing story of Isaac and Rebekah, I do want to reiterate that much of what we’ve discussed in this series are counter-cultural and the paths upstream. But like God’s call upon Rebekah’s life, He beckons us to surrender all to our King and follow Him with steadfast devotion.

The Gospel is meant to invade our hearts. It affects every dimension of our lives. When we learn to surrender all to Him, He begins to change us in ways we haven’t imagined or planned. It is often difficult as the gardener must prune the branches in order to be fruitful.

But the results are breathtaking and awakens awe in others. We can’t help but adorn the Gospel with our lives and showcase its beauty to the world. Let me leave you with this invitation:

Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear: Forget your people and your father’s house. The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him for he is your Lord.

Psalm 45:10

NOTES

¹ Guzik, David. “Genesis 24 – A Bride for Isaac”. Enduring Word Commentary. https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/genesis-24/. Accessed 11 Jun, 2022.

² “Grace” here means the enabling power of God that is made available to us to accomplish a task that we normally could not have done in our own strength. Romans 12:6, Acts 6:8, 1 Corinthians 15:10, 1 Corinthians 3:10, 2 Corinthians 9:8, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Hebrews 13:9, Colossians 1:29.

³ Ludy, Leslie. “The Secret to an Amazing Love Story.” Set Apart Girl. https://www.setapart.online/products/online-mentoring-program/categories/3402474. Accessed 11 Jun, 2022.

⁴ Wolgemuth, Nancy DeMoss. Adorned. Moody Publishers. Chicago, 2017.